Saving At The Spigot And Wasting At The Bunghole

As Amerika's perennial "budget crisis" enters its second week is it any wonder?

My Bunghole Cannot Wait: Are You Threatening Me?

This piece is not meant to be satirical and it is not meant to be amusing. Like most that I write, it is of fateful concern and I am deadly serious (somebody has to be, in a national sociopolitical circus that is no less than a Shakespearean tragedy). Stated mission notwithstanding, I must begin with an anecdotal digression that some might find comical. Nonetheless, they may rest assured that they will be forgiven for any expectorated mirth.

Buffcoat and Beaver

Many moons ago as a much younger married man, my spouse and I kept long, and often late, hours. It was the early 90’s and we had been pummeled with both man made and natural disasters. In a 24 month period there had been massive civil rebellion that extended from Los Angeles to the entire country. We had been hit with a devastating earthquake that killed dozens and then brushfires to boot; several of the homes on our block were reduced to chimneys. The time seemed near enough to locust swarms and trumpets sounding. All the while we had a burgeoning business and familial obligations that required all of our time.

Friday evenings were generally a time when we would hang out (at home) and relax. I’d make my ritual trip to Blockbuster, grab a few movies, head to the butcher shop and return home. Sometimes I would go visit our next door neighbor “Paul The Rocketman” (and, yes, he was literally a rocket scientist) and grab some Sensimilla before firing up the grill. Friday nights were the only time of the week we could enjoy each others company alone, stay up all night and sleep late the next morning; though I don’t sleep much, never have. The way I figure it is ultimately I’ll sleep forever. Even as a small child I had this awareness, reconciliation and stoicism. Perhaps even fear.

One night, after having a great meal, watching The Fugitive and getting fairly intoxicated, my wife decided to call it a night. She asked was I coming to bed and I told her I would in a while. I had things on my mind and was my usual restless, insomniatic, can’t turn-my-brain-off self.

I sat in the family room in the eerie blue light of the cathode ray tube—also known as a television or the idiot box—channel surfing. It was well past midnight when I happened upon MTV. There had been congressional hearings about an animated show (seriously, hearings about a cartoon) called Beavis and Butthead. I had never seen the cartoon, which featured music videos within, but was quite aware of the Senate hearings and was very curious as to what the controversy was about. At the same time, I was unlikely to seek out the show because I abhor both animation and music “videos” (an oxymoron of epic proportions). My exposure to it was totally serendipitous.

When I tuned in to MTV, Beavis and Butthead was airing. These two cartoon characters, literally, reminded me of a lot of the stoner white boys I went to school with. This experience was enhanced by the fact that I was quasi-stoned at the time. I could not believe what I was seeing. I laughed so damned hard I thought I was going to have a stroke.

I darted to the bedroom and woke my wife up (she wasn’t thrilled) and said “you have got to see this shit!” She trudged out of the bedroom and joined me. Right as she sat down (looking at me as though I had truly gone mad) Beavis turned into “Cornholio.”

If one has not seen the show I cannot explain it other than Cornholio is Beavis’ alter ego. He puts his tee shirt over his head, raises his arms as if he were being robbed at gunpoint and says, in an ominous voice, “Are you threatening me?” He goes on with a threat of his own “You will give me teepee, teepee for my bunghole…my bunghole cannot wait!”

My wife said “Oh-my-gawd, this is horrible” as she spat her drink all over the room in uproarious laughter. I was totally in hysterics, rolling around on the floor with eyes full of tears and her laughter only made it worse. It would be almost daylight before we composed ourselves. Since our divorce we have little contact with each other (as in none) but we always reminisced about that night.

Pivotal: Digressive Anecdote Over

The quote “saving at the spigot, wasting at the bunghole” is a variation of an older proverb often attributed to Benjamin Franklin. While the exact wording may vary, the saying means that it is foolish to be stingy on small purchases while being extravagant with large ones. The phrase appears in an article from the Evening Star published on June 23, 1926. The text refers to the saying and connects it, for whatever reason, to Benjamin Franklin, calling him “the wisest man of his age.”

Again, for whatever reason.

Corrosive Fiscal Sociopolitical Puerility That Harms

The current ritual of brinkmanship and the threat of a full-scale government shutdown is a relatively modern phenomenon. While funding battles and delays in appropriations have always existed, the shutdown as a high-stakes, ideologically-charged political tool with broad operational consequences largely began in the mid-1990s. Since that time it has become a regular, annual ritual of kabuki political theater that was not always so. “Amerika’s Perennial Budget Crisis” as I have coined it, is something I had never heard of until I became an adult. My young adult children have heard it all of their lives.

The resultant government shutdowns are a relatively new manifestation of the last ten to 20 years. I will now substantiate my assertion, accusation and thesis with the following devolutionary evidentiary shifts in the political and legal landscape. Then, I will explore “harm.”

The Legal Catalyst: The 1980/1981 Attorney General Opinions

The most critical factor that distinguishes the current era from the past is a change in the interpretation of the “A.A.” No, I do not reference Alcoholics Anonymous but, then again, far be it from me to eschew obvious mildly perverted parallels. In the instant case I am referring to the Antideficiency Act, a law that prohibits federal agencies from spending money not appropriated by Congress.

Before 1980, when a “funding gap” occurred (Congress missed its deadline), federal agencies largely continued to operate, minimizing “nonessential” obligations, under the assumption that Congress would quickly restore funding. There was a political embarrassment, but usually not a full cessation of government services.

After 1980/1981, Attorney General Benjamin Civiletti issued two opinions that strictly interpreted the Antideficiency Act. It became a stricter interpretation mandating that, during a funding gap, all agencies must cease operations unless the activity is specifically authorized by law or involves the safety of human life or the protection of property. This legal shift is what made a government shutdown a mandatory consequence of a funding gap, turning a political failure into a socioeconomic and sociopolitical travesty with not only harmful, but potentially dangerous consequences.

I am compelled to note that in the 1980 “US” presidential election, Republican Ronald Reagan defeated incumbent Democratic President Jimmy Carter in a landslide. Perhaps the reader is forming some foolish nexus between the chronology of these events. Tisk, tisk—that’s just…”US.”

What has been presented and substantiated thus far, is the legal mechanism for governmental shutdowns that was set in the early 1980s. For the purposes of argument think of the word “excuse” in replacement of “mechanism.” However and most ominously, the frequency and impact of this political kabuki theater has quantitatively increased since inception.

During what is known as “The Reagan Era” there were multiple funding gaps and several shutdowns (most lasting only a few days). Resolved quickly, they were frequently over minor appropriations disputes or scheduling issues. They were generally short and had minimal public impact.

The “Clinton Era” of the 1990s marked a turning point The two shutdowns in late 1995 and early 1996 (totaling 26 days) were the first to be characterized by major, high-stakes political brinkmanship—specifically over deficit reduction and Medicare—between a Democratic President (Clinton) and a Republican-controlled Congress led by Newt Gingrich. These were the first to broadly affect government operations for an extended time and are often cited as the true beginning of the modern shutdown as a political weapon.

‘Tis odd how healthcare is always a problem in the “greatest nation of Earth” to the point that it shuts down the government while other inferior nations, and peoples, have no such problem. That is exceptional. Isn’t it?

The last decade has set in stone the kabuki theater of Amerika’s perennial “budget crisis.” Since the major 21-day shutdown of 1995-1996, the budget crisis has become more frequent and more deeply tied to ideological disputes, lobbying and bipartisan psychopathy rather than just standard budget haggling. This is exemplified by the fact that 96 hours ago during a cabinet meeting at the White House, “US” President Donald “Smitty” Trump said he plans to make permanent cuts to “Democrat programs” amid the ongoing government shutdown. “We’re only cutting Democrat programs, I hate to tell you, but we are cutting Democrat programs.”

The 2013 shutdown (16 days) was directly tied to the Affordable Care Act. The 2018-2019 shutdown (35 days) was the longest in history and was over border wall funding. Those were “shutdowns,” but the “budget crisis” is now a permanent feature for bipartisan politicking of the government landscape though not, necessarily, an immutable one.

First Do No Harm (Past Tense)

My terminology of governmental “kabuki theater” masks a variety of serious, tangible harms to the economy, governance, and society. There are two major types of harm that are immediate, with quantifiable costs and long-term, structural damage. Shutdowns are expensive. Agencies must spend money preparing for a shutdown (contingency planning) and then spend more to ramp back up. The largest cost is often back pay to furloughed workers (which Congress has always authorized), meaning taxpayers pay for work that was never done. Non-essential government services halt: national parks close, new business loans (Small Business Administration) are suspended, and processing of veterans’ benefits or tax refunds can be delayed.

Second Do No Harm (Present Tense)

Federal employees are used as political pawns, leading to a profound drop in morale, which a 2019 Senate report found has a psychological cost equivalent to a 10% salary cut. Think of it as a “brain drain. This drives experienced workers to quit or retire early, leading to a permanent loss of institutional knowledge and making it harder for the government to hire top-tier talent.

I would be remiss in failing to mention that Black People in the United States are disproportionately represented as federal government employees, making up a higher percentage of the federal workforce than their percentage of the U.S. population. As of late 2024, Black People in the United States constituted about 18.5% to 19% of the federal workforce, which is higher than their 12.8% share of the overall U.S. labor force. Conjointly, Black People in the United States are disproportionately represented as incarcerated individuals. Studies show that Black People in the United States are incarcerated at significantly higher rates than European-Amerikans, with some data showing rates of nearly five times higher in state prisons. Factors contributing to this include differences in arrest and sentencing rates and systemic issues like socioeconomic inequality. A most fascinating coincidence.

Then there is an erosion of government effectiveness. Critical functions are interrupted. For example, federal research (e.g., medical, environmental) is delayed or ruined, essential health/safety inspections are postponed. IRS enforcement/audits are paused (let alone that the IRS is being somewhat privatized by the sitting “US” President). This lowers the long-term quality and competency of the civil service overall and eventually trickles down to the municipal/local level of government.

Then there is the fiscal instability that creates uncertainty for businesses, investors, and foreign partners. When the world’s alleged largest economy cannot reliably keep its government funded, it raises doubts about its political stability and reliability, potentially impacting long-term investment decisions and global financial markets. And rightfully so but, in all candor, I am not of the opinion that the world at large is concerned about the reliability of the United States, for I am of the opinion that both any “credibility” and, thusly, “reliability” it may have had has long gone by the way of the dodo bird.

Then there is lastly, but hardly least, the inevitable undermining the rule of law (depending on whose law, I suspect). In any event, constant threat of a shutdown normalizes a situation where the political process routinely fails to fulfill its most basic constitutional duty—to fund the government—thereby diminishing the public’s trust in governmental institutions. Luckily for me, in the most selfish of senses, I learned long ago not to waste trust on governmental institutions. That is white privilege, however one wishes to interpret it.

The Bigot’s Spigot And Bunghole Waste

Though it seems like years, Smitty has only been in office ten months in his second presidential iteration. He has succeeded, I think, in totally disorienting the public with non-stop matters that shock the conscience. The governmental onslaught began with what he branded as “DOGE.” Approximately 300,000 layoffs have been announced by the second Trump administration, almost all of them attributed to DOGE. The term DOGE (auspiciously the Department of Government Efficiency) can also be used as a verb or adjective to mean something is ruined, cheap, or vandalized.

As of October 2025, the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) claims to have saved the government $214 billion by cutting federal spending. However, independent analyses by news organizations like Politico and the New York Times have found these savings to be heavily inflated and unreliable.

The budget for the Department of Offense, officially known as the Department of Defense or the Department of War, is close to a trillion dollars. Almost five times the amount allegedly saved by DOGE. Saving at the spigot and wasting at the bunghole.

In fiscal year 2024, the U.S. Department of Education spent about $268 billion. The majority of this funding is allocated to programs like student aid, grants to states for K-12 schools (especially for low-income districts and students with disabilities), and higher education initiatives. The aforementioned Department of Offense has a budget almost five times this amount. An educated populace is the greatest defense there is, yet the “US” punishes education for the sake of murder indicative of severely perverted priorities and “values.” Saving at the spigot and wasting at the bunghole.

According to China’s official 2025 budget, the country spends more on education than on defense. In recent years, China’s total expenditure on education has consistently accounted for a larger share of its government budget than its official military spending. Perhaps that is why they are kicking the shit out of the “US.” In both realms.

This “fiscal silliness” is a corrosive force that imposes financial costs, hollows out the civil service, and increases risk for the entire nation and the global economy. Firing federal workers (sans its obvious racist overtones), stripping SNAP benefits and food assistance from children and the impoverished, defunding Medicare and ACA subsidies so that people die due to lack of healthcare amounts to saving at the spigot. Spending on so-called defense, on Israel, on Ukraine, on a “big beautiful ballroom” at the White House is wasting at the bunghole. In other words your president and your government are not just conning “the people,” they are pimping “the people.” Which, by both default and definition relegates “the people” to being…

FITFO.