The Looming 2024 "Crapshow"

Thomas Crapper was an English plumber and businessman that founded Thomas Crapper & Co in London, a plumbing equipment company. Crapper held nine patents, three of them for water closet improvements such as the floating ballcock. He improved the S-bend plumbing trap in 1880 by inventing the U-Bend. The firm's lavatorial equipment was manufactured at premises at nearby Marlborough Road. The company owned the world's first bath, toilet and sink showroom. Crapper was noted for the quality of his products and received several royal warrants.

The United States is about to take a “Crap” in 2024.

A huge one.

For the past quarter of a century, the United States has careened towards electoral Armageddon that will lead to domestic chaos on a scale that few can imagine. Long before the events of January 6, 2021, the die was cast. The political Rubicon has been both crossed and breached. The United States has made its play and there is no going back. The United States is in deep doo-doo.

In 2000, a general election was held. Al Gore won the national popular vote but lost the Electoral College vote after a legal battle over disputed vote counts in the state of Florida. George “Dumbya” Bush won the state of Florida in the initial count and also in each subsequent recount at the time. The supreme court decided the election.

Dumbya’s brother (Jeb) was the governor of Florida at the time. Bush famously stated “I’m the decider". If you had a child named Chad either that kid had to learn how to fight or, more likely, he is 23 years old in the fetal position, sporting a straight-jacket sucking his thumb somewhere. Due to “terror” (heh, heh) Bush would win handily in 2004.

No problems in 2008 and 2012. That was because no one dare initiate controversy pertinent to the “first African-American President.” The benefits of national denial and absolution of racism quelled any electoral challenges. Risk management precluded such.

In 2016 Hillary Clinton surpassed Donald Trump in the national popular vote by nearly 2.9 million votes. According to vote tallies from The Associated Press, Clinton amassed 65,844,610 votes across all 50 states and Washington, D.C., 48.2 percent of all votes cast. Trump received 62,979,636 votes; 46.1 percent of all votes cast.

Clinton had 2,864,974 votes more than Trump, the largest popular vote margin of any losing presidential candidate in U.S. history, according to the AP. Trump won the presidency by clinching 304 electoral votes, well over the minimum 270 needed. Clinton won 227 electoral votes. Clinton was the fifth presidential candidate in history to win the popular vote and lose. The only other time that had happened this century was in 2000, when the aforementioned Democrat Al Gore came up short in the Electoral College but won the popular vote by 540,000 more votes than George W. Bush. Worse, “the Russians” tampered with the election. Within eight months of the Trump administration, in Charlottesville, Virginia, white boys went crazy.

Uh oh.

When I was a younger man and used to imbibe in women and strong drink, I was out with a buddy (that just departed this world) and he told me to “pull over” as we headed down the 405 freeway at some ungodly hour. I said to him “for what?” He didn’t look well and if you can imagine a Black Man in the United States turning green…imagine it.

He replied, “I smell somethin’.” I looked at him quizzically and said, “what the eff do you mean you smell something?” He did not respond. Though it is rather difficult, and perilous, to pull over on the 405 freeway from the number one lane I had started the maneuver, but it was too late. He blew chunks all over the inside of my windows in my brand-new Mazda 626.

I smell something.

The 2020 general election was like no other in world history. It was held at the height of a global pandemic. It was held when people were fighting over toilet paper. It was held when sporting events had little cardboard figurines as an audience. It was held when people were wearing masks and afraid of each other (still are for different reasons). Pursuant to the aforementioned pandemic new processes were put in place for voting. It was weird, to say the very, very least.

Two weeks before the new president, Mr. Biden, was inaugurated, the former president and dear leader, Mr. Trump, posited that the election was rigged. In all fairness to Mr. Trump, he was not the first losing candidate to levy such an indictment which is clearly exhibited by my examples referenced supra. However, what made him different is that he exhorted his legions of pissed-off followers to take action or they “won’t have a country anymore.”

Having their orders, the redneck, inbred horde marched to the United States Capitol by the thousands as commanded by their dear leader. They tore up the place. They overran barricades. They erected gallows replete with nooses to lynch people. They vandalized and destroyed. They took a “Crap” in the hallways of the United States Capitol and smeared the “Crap” on the walls. The police not only ran from them, they assisted them and many of the police took a thumping. “Proud” white boys went crazy, again.

In 2024 there will not only be a “Crapshow” there will be interference from the microprocessor. There will be “bots.” There will be Artificial Intelligence. There will be the ever-present racial polarization; specifically aimed at Black People in the United States which is always the sexiest thing in U.S. politics.

There will be disputes in vote counting. The supreme court will get involved. There will be recriminations from one reprobate to the other. There will be an unstable and very dangerous global/international environment. Plus, neither candidate that everyone thinks will be the candidate for their “party” today, will be. Read my lips ‘cause it ain’t that kind of party.

It is not my intent to be apocalyptic, but 2024 may very well destroy the United States which may very well be as it should be. There is no question there will be violence. There is no question there will be controversy and, thusly, bloodshed. There is no question there will be instability on a Homeric scale. The only question is: is the society strong enough to survive?

Ergo, the “Crapshow” is upon us. Whenever one has to take a good crap they will pass gas. The gas is a warning that excrement is to follow. The gas smells worse than the crap sometimes but its purpose is to put you on notice. The world is about to see what a toilet the United States has become and all I can tell you, as you sit on the crapper, is to put your head between your legs and kiss your sweet ass goodbye.

I smell something.