What "African American" Means to Me: A Metamorphosis of Terms and an Exercise in Fatigue

The Linguistic Contortions, Complexities, Denialism and Insult of Saying "Nigger" in an Apartheid Nation

It has only been a year since one of the largest, and most overpaid tech acquisitions in history, social media platform "Twitter" was acquired for 44 billion dollars by Elon Musk. It is, reportedly, the third largest tech acquisition in the history of the planet. I am less than mildly impressed by this. Elon Musk is also the CEO of both Tesla and SpaceX.

SpaceX launches penis-shaped rockets into space; perhaps resultant of primitive vestiges of earthly anatomical inadequacies by some, be they real or imagined. Elon Musk is "the richest man in the world". Though I never gained entry into the storied Mile High Club, I must acquiesce to being fascinated beyond description about space-sex (Space-X). From time to time, one must let the mind be weightless, unbound by gravity's confines.

What does just impress the hell out of me is that Elon Musk is an African-American. Yet, as I feel compelled to beam and gush with pride over this seismic and historic "accomplishment" by an African-American, I hear nothing but crickets. I am perplexed, and deeply so because although Martin Luther King, Jr. may have had a "dream" he didn't have 44 billion dollars, albeit I am certain he dreamt about it. 

Elon Musk, who has never worked a day in his pathetic life, is an African-American. Dual citizenship notwithstanding, it is easy to tell that he is African-American by his pasty pallor reminiscent of Michael Jackson who, ironically, wanted to be anything but African-American. I simply would like to know why Elon Musk's African-Americaness is not being touted as the grand accomplishment it is. In fact, it is being sequestered.

Elon Musk is what is called an Afrikaner and he hails from the apartheid state of South Africa. He has both South African and "American" citizenship. Elon’s money has white boys on it which makes him “the richest man in the world” (fiat currency notwithstanding). He is, quite literally, an African-American in every sense of the word(s) and no one applauds it. I wonder why?

Actress Charlize Theron is an African-American. Musician David Matthews is an African-American, too. Much more so than I am, which leaves me to contemplate why is my, apparent, brethren so reluctant to show pride. I must acquiesce to being perplexed beyond comprehension.

I, through no choice of my own, have been labeled as many things; most of which are unsuitable for publication. Currently, I am labeled as an "African-American" but I and those like me have had other labels. These linguistic iterations/slurs are for the sole purpose of easing the dis-ease of the dis-eased; a kinder gentler way of the infected saying Nigger. 

One must understand my quandary here. As a labeled "African-American" (genetically adulterated by a number of other "Americans") that has no African citizenship, and one could saliently argue no "American" citizenship, other than that which is citizenless citizenship, it is most difficult for me to grasp why I am and Elon Musk(rat) is, apparently, not. I mean, this wretched of the Earth shit is causing combat-fatigue. Cerebrally so.

The closest I have ever been to Alkebulan is Boston, Massachusetts. White Supremacy, or "Rome," if you will, renamed it "Africa" because White Supremacy means you get to name other things, places and people. You get to force your language upon others which allows you to define terms and definitions which, in turn, allows you to control the narrative. Things, places and people that had names long before your pale posterior showed up. What? You didn't knew? And, yes, I meant "knew" as opposed to "know." 

I would love to go to Alkebulan. Every Black Person in the United States that I have known that has gone to Alkebulan returns (those that do) to the plantation known as the United States a completely different human being. Completely. I recall a bloke named Booker I attended school with that went to Africa when he was a teenager. Booker was a from a well-to-do family (by "African-American" standards) and his parents took him to Africa one summer.

When we reconvened in the fall for studies, he kept repeating "I saw a black man's face on the money, man!" I mean this fellow was much beside himself. Decades later, in a serendipitous encounter, we ran across each other and he was still repeating how awestruck he was to see "a black man's face on the money".

Somebody is full of “boo-boo” and it ain't me, despite my brown eyes and freckled face. Nonetheless, let us celebrate this monumental achievement by an African-American and if you do not understand what is being stated in this article, you have no business reading it.

Hear, hear (listen, too)!

Now, we shall see how smart you really are; superiority, real or imagined, notwithstanding. Most importantly, and significantly, we will see if intellectual honesty is a part of your overall character and cognitive nomenclature. No matter who or what you are, your ethnicity, gender, religion, creed, or propensities this is a cognitive mirror in which I will force you to look. I am a big proponent of meeting the enemy with overwhelming force and if you are intellectually lazy, indoctrinated, willfully ignorant or stupid, you are my sworn enemy. I extend mercy to the retarded and they, thusly, get a pass; including relatives.

Monkeypox

In two months an event, that happens in no other place on planet Earth, will take place in the United States called Black History Month. This global peculiarity and anomaly begs the question: why so? Bearing in mind that I am but a singular Black Person in the United States, my thoughts, opinions, observations and, thusly, convictions are my own. Though shaped by realities that are not of my own design, architecture nor execution; a wee-bit of a conundrum to put it mildly. A dilemma even, perhaps.

Black People in the United States, like any other people, are products of their experiences be they practical, educational, intellectual, psychological, social, economical, institutional or familial. Given I have lived a most interesting life, in conjunction with the aforementioned disclaimer, I find Black History Month both a very uncomfortable endeavor and experience.

It is but coincidence that Black History Month occurs during the shortest month of the year.

In certain communities, rat ‘chere in “progressive” Southern California, Black History Month is called “Monkey Month.” It appears that a place known as Poway, California (an affluent and racist enclave of San Diego) was the origo and genius behind this phenomenon that went national. Apparently it started in the high schools of that locale.

I am familiar with Poway: my resultant disaffection is probably why I call it Teslassissippi. Imagine the most racist good ‘ole boys in Mississippi driving Tesla’s instead of pick-up trucks and living in million dollar homes instead of double- wide’s and you have arrived in Teslassissippi, California, US of A. I shall expound on this relatively unknown phenomena in the days to come.

A mere four years ago, in 2019, during Black History Month, festooned and beribboned with European-Americans (aka “white”) politicians in black face, Klan regalia and people devoting hours discussing if it is "ever appropriate to wear black face,” Ralph Northam, the Democrat governor of Virginia got busted for…wearing “black face.” In a well publicized photograph, Northam exercised white privilege to the utmost. The politician, Northam, that was in black face in the photograph, or the Klan pajamas, apologized for this youthful indiscretion. It was later erroneously and hideously proffered that it wasn't him in the photograph he apologized for being in. It was all about "paying tribute" to African-American Michael Jackson and the Moonwalk. Once the proverbial hood was taken off, he issued the following statement:

Earlier today, a website published a photograph of me from my 1984 medical school yearbook in a costume that is clearly racist and offensive. I am deeply sorry for the decision I made to appear as I did in this photo and for the hurt that decision caused then and now. This behavior is not in keeping with who I am today and the values I have fought for throughout my career in the military, in medicine, and in public service. But I want to be clear, I understand how this decision shakes Virginians’ faith in that commitment. I recognize that it will take time and serious effort to heal the damage this conduct has caused. I am ready to do that important work. The first step is to offer my sincerest apology and to state my absolute commitment to living up to the expectations Virginians set for me when they elected me to be their Governor.

I love a good tap-dance; uh, “Moonwalk.”

The European-American (“white”) Moonwalker had an “African-American” Lieutenant Governor. The Moonwalker refused to leave office. He is, and was, a trained physician and avowed to use his white superiority and racism as a learning experience to heal others. Meanwhile, the African-American Lieutenant Governor faced political lynching.

While all of this was taking place, an African-American entertainer was attacked and subjected to a mock lynching allegedly perpetrated by MAGA maggots. In fact, it is possible he may have lynched himself, so to speak. His name was Jussie Smollett. I mention this because 48 hours ago, a circuit court decided Jussie Smollett could soon be back behind bars after an Illinois appeals court upheld the actor’s disorderly conduct convictions stemming from a faked hate crime and playing fast and loose with the truth with Chicago police.

Prune Juice.

I am a most irreverent, heretical lout; am I not? Call me “crazy as a fox" for I get called a whole lot worse. Nonetheless, there are times when one must not cloak contempt; wherever it lies.

At the time of the incident, police interrogated two possible accomplices in the inferred ruse, both described as “Nigerian brothers". This confuses me, because I thought Nigeria was in Alkebulan (renamed Africa by Rome) and the Nigerian brothers were also “American.” Yet, somehow the “Nigerian brothers” were not described as African-American, but the African-American entertainer ("brother") from Santa Rosa, California was described as such. These things are mind-bending for intellect as meager as my own.

It is true that the man has walked on the moon, and that Moonwalker was white. It is not lost upon me that white men have a proclivity to walk on surfaces that no other person has. I recall another white man who walked on water.

Then (and possibly again) President of the United States, Donald Trump (aka Agent Orange) gave a breathtaking State-of-The-Union Address during Black History Month. A rather unusual occurrence chronologically speaking, and testament to the extraordinary month and this extraordinary time to be an African-American. ‘Tis always an extraordinary time to be an “African-American”. In fact, the President made glowing reference to African-Americans in his speech. I anxiously anticipated his reference to African-Americans having the lowest unemployment rate since the Emancipation Proclamation under his regime. The President rightfully reminded all that "no one has ever seen anything like it before", and I wholeheartedly concurred with the President with a level of contempt that would have to be measured on a Richter Scale.

Black History Month could not be worth its proverbial salt without innumerable references to Martin Luther King, Jr. It just so happens that there is a national holiday in his honor the month before to kick off Black History Month. United States Senator Kamala Harris made history on the MLK holiday that year by announcing her candidacy to run for the presidency of the United States; one of only two African-American women to ever do so.

Nonetheless, Kamala's historical announcement was marred by debate involving two other African-Americans as to whether or not she was, indeed, an "African-American" because her father was from Jamaica and her mother "Indian"... as in India. The Senator was soon joined by U.S. Senator Corey Booker in announcing his candidacy to run for the presidency. Senator Booker is an “African-American,” too. Two-thirds of the African-Americans in the United States Senate running for the presidency of the greatest nation on earth. Undeniable progress.

When I was born, in the '60s, my birth certificate has "Negro" where the designation for "Race" is. Ironically, for my parents, on that same document they are designated as "Colored". My children, born in the '90s, all have "Black" in this designation. Ironically, the youngest (who has a European-American egg donor, German descent, blonde and blue) also has "Black" in this designation and believe you me she is a gorgeous and proud Black Woman in the United States.

Heh, heh.

In the 1970s, as a young child officer attending Southern California Military Academy, I was told by both society and my parents that I was "Black" (my personal preference). Then, shortly thereafter, I recall being referred to as an "Afro-American". I found this perplexing because I was trying to figure out exactly when it was I became a hairstyle. My intrigue is steadfast to this very day.

Now, it appears, those of my ilk are African-American. I have no idea as to when or how this happened, who makes these decisions or if it some nefarious cabal. Perhaps there was a general election, a vote of some kind. I received neither ballot nor notification of this change in branding; no other African-American that I know did either.

So, in the six decades that I have walked this earth, in the United States of America, I have unofficially been consistently one thing and officially at least five things; or maybe vice versa depending on perspective. Ergo, given the facts as I have outlined them here, it has finally dawned on me what African-American means. Simply exchange the word Nigger for every time you see the words African-American and you, too, will become enlightened (no pun intended).