The Tell-Tale Heart: Martyrs, Messiah's, Mumbo-Jumbo, Maxi-Pads and...Trumpons.

This article is going to get me in a world of trouble. However, “The worst injuries are always self-inflicted, even if you do them for the best of reasons.” -Alex Lake

Hear, hear! Trump’s Ear Is Near

I am politically non-partisan. In fact I am apolitical but, as I am with train wrecks, plane crashes and tornadoes, I am fascinated by politics. Disclaimer duly administered, I was listening to my favorite radio and television talk show, The Thom Hartmann Program, and someone mentioned MAGA maniacs wearing something akin to maxi-pads on their right ear(s). A gesture, apparently, to signal solidarity with Agent Orange subsequent to an assassination attempt. For those unfamiliar with my sociopolitical perspectives, personal lexicon and for clarity’s sake, I meant the other orange toxin: Donald Trump.

Now, don’t go getting your shorts all in a bunch by even remotely suggesting that I am making light of anyone being shot or otherwise harmed. I’ve been shot the hell up before, it ain’t no fucking joke and I wasn’t grazed. I have the GSW’s to prove it. So let thyself just kill such a notion before it is born.

So to speak.

I will never forget the clunking sound of the second bullet when it was removed under local anesthesia from my chest weeks later as it hit the metal container. It was not far from my Tell-Tale heart and one of the most deafening sounds I have ever heard. Somebody reading this will understand exactly what I am talking about, though few. All I need do is think about it to hear it again. You don’t forget shit like that. You are not supposed to; unless you are cerebrally impaired. Ask Edgar Allen Poe.

“Dat boy gone have a testimony!”

“Hear, hear all ye good people, hear what this brilliant and eloquent speaker has to say!”

I’ve stated, said, proclaimed, exhorted, exclaimed, written, prayed or sent smoke signals to people that Donald Trump was setting himself up as a martyr from the day he announced his candidacy for the presidency in 2015. And, frankly, Trump had been talking about running for president decades before. Ergo, all of this feigned surprise mumbo-jumbo (a perverted racist colloquialism of the Swahili word Hujambo) at his becoming president the first time smells like what it smells like.

My written words published on May, 23, 2024 were: “Trump has been setting himself up as a martyr since his first impeachment when he stated he was, of all things, “lynched.” Now, at his rallies he says: “they want to take away my freedom, so they can take away yours…they want to silence me because they want to silence you…I am the only thing standing in the way and if they are allowed to cheat again, you’re not going to have a country.”

He has positioned himself, quite cunningly and deliberately, as both a martyr and a messiah; kind of like Jesus. That is his exact modeling. He is being crucified to pay for the sins of others. He will rise from the dead and put no other Gods before him.

Don’t shoot the messenger.

Trumpons and Tonight’s Drinking Game

Tonight, will be the climax (“Hold On I’m Coming”) of the Republican National Convention with the messiah himself delivering a speech to his flock. He will pump his fist many, many times. He will exhibit, or portray, invincibility and toughness. Funny his fat ass wasn’t so tough when he got, count ‘em, five deferments from the Vietnam draft. A craven punk that has never, ever been in a fistfight (and I can tell). Coward

I am unashamedly ignorant to its origins, but there exists a myth that a tampon will plug a gun-shot wound. Be mindful that being shot and being grazed are two entirely different things, technically speaking. Injuries from gun shot wound’s are unique as opposed to many other mechanisms of injury associated with penetrating trauma. Where the bullet goes in to the body will cause an entrance wound and depending on whether the bullet leaves the body, there may also be an exit wound. Bullets do strange things when they enter the body. They may continue on a straight path in and out, or they may follow bone structure, and even ricochet. In some instances, the bullet may not exit the body at all.

There are many factors which impact the path of a bullet, and the amount of trauma from a GSW. Gun shot wound’s are unique because of the injury profile created in the wake of a bullets’ path, known commonly as cavitation. The entrance wound is typically where the fabled tampon is supposed to be inserted to assist with stopping bleeding. Remember, the entrance wound is determined by the size of the bullet, it is the wound you can physically see. The severity of the trauma caused internally, the cavitation, is often hidden, especially if there is no exit wound.

Depending on the caliber, the entrance hole might be small. In some cases, such as a .20 or .30, they are smaller in diameter than a regular tampon. This means further damage would be caused by shoving a tampon in the entry wound just to plug it. But remember, just because the entrance hole is small, it does not mean the damage behind it is not significant. Ergo, the tampon myth is just that, a myth. A dangerous one.

So, my drinking game tonight will be how many Trumpons will be wearing maxi-pads on their right ears in solidarity with their dear leader. I hope I am wrong as I have not been drunk in decades, but methinks tonight may change all of that. On the other hand, perhaps it is my silliness and folly and I needn’t take nary a sip.

Trump once, in his typical crude and piggish demeanor, said of Fox News reporter Megyn Kelly (of whom I am no fan) that she must have been “Bleeding out of wherever.” The irony that he now has a maxi-pad on his ear as a red badge of courage is nothing less than exquisite; spectacular, in fact. It is a well known fact by anyone that has taken a basic first-aid course that pressure wins the war against bleeding. I hope my friends that are Democrats get my drift.

I feel compelled, given the somewhat ribald nature of this article, to let my female subscribers and readers know that this is by no means intended to be sexist; quite the opposite. I have three children, all of them are Black Women in the United States and I will move heaven and earth for them. The best part of being a man is loving women and God knows, I do.

I’d better.