Why Are Donnie Drumpf's Diapers Dripping?

Say that rapidly three times, the answer will surprise you.

Given that I am in tune with the types of personalities that read this publication I strongly suspect that at least some have attempted to say the title of this piece three times in rapid succession. My blatant suggestion can hardly be considered subliminal cueing. Nonetheless, the mere thought of them doing so causes me tremendous mirth because it lets me know I am among kindred spirits; at least sometimes. Anyone with such phonetic dexterity and linguistic control that might have met with success is worthy of my envy.

Just Look N Words.

“Diaper dandies,” refers to freshmen college athletes who are instant college stars and is a takeoff on Diver Dan. Diver Dan was a series of television shorts made for children in the 1960’s a few years before I was born. Just so you know.

Isn’t language fascinating?

When a Chump Named Drumpf Takes a Dump

Undapper Diaper Donnie is known my many monikers that include: Agent Orange (my own invention), The Orange Menace, Dumb Donald, Delusional Donald, “Trump” and a plethora of others. However, few people care to recall that his ancestral name is Drumpf. Drumpf (alternately Drumpft) is a German surname that dates back to the 16th century and is the predecessor to the family name of Donald Trump, 45th president and 47th president of the United States.

In full disclosure, it is entirely within the realm of possibility that I am hating on Agent Orange because he, like every European-Amerikan, knows his ancestral name. Ethnic cleansing of my ancestors provides us no such luxury. Many have never thought about that, and refuse to. They take for granted that which only the Black Person in the United States is deprived of, and a good portion of us are too ignorant to care pursuant to institutional architecture.

Ancestral connections: names, land, languages and religion are the crucibles of identity. The aforementioned fact notwithstanding, the same genocidists turn around and call us “angry.” Our problem is we are not angry enough. We shall overcome, someday.

Where’s an air-sickness bag when I truly need one.

How’s that marching and singing for five hundred years working out for your black ass (freckled ones included)? Have you noticed that the white boy’s program is do what I say? Allow minimization, labelization, renaming, rebranding, relegation, demonization, persecution, execution, torture, and allow him and her to take your shit or the alternative is an ass-kicking. There has not been a solitary instance in human history where the European has not utilized violence to “conquer” (as he puts it). Let alone sing, dance and march his way into a damned thing.

The white boy’s chief tool is violence/force and it will remain so until such time that he is influenced otherwise. That stark conclusion presents the spectacular trio of queries pertinent to same: if, when and how (an invasion of Martians, even). Consider the previous sentence my philanthropic gift to anyone requiring a reality and intestinal fortitude examination. See your proctologist for the rectal exam.

Oh lawdy I digress, please accept my sincerest apologies but it is so-called “Black History Month”…ain’t it?

It has been suggested, proffered and rumored that United States President Donnie Drumpf wears diapers due to an inability to control bodily functions; particularly solid waste. Innuendo abounds about a vile stench that wafts through the air as he strolls down the halls of the West Wing. “West” wing. Perhaps that is why my grandfather used to say, when he needed to take a dump, “Gotta go take me a good ‘ole Country Western.”

I can’t make this shit up (literally).

My considerable research on the matter did not result in any substantive data in terms of verification or debunking. Not surprising given that such verification is a matter of a doctor’s acknowledgement or medical records being available, which Mr. Drumpf definitely will not disclose. By the by, it is not my intent to ridicule anyone that may be dealing with such issues as “there but by the grace of God go I.”

Ergo, I am left with the sumptuousness of subjectivity without the peril of indictment. I know it foolish to the point of stupidity, but President Drumpf looks like he would smell bad to mine eyes. Maybe it’s the orange spray paint mixed with Aramis, or some other such thing, but I am casting my lot to a loaded diaper.

So, given my supposition as presented, I humbly submit to you that President Drumpf’s diaper is not just loaded with the usual biohazards such as feces and urine that he has become accustomed to. There is now another fluid in his diaper weighing him down. The good news, at least for him, is I am most certain he enjoys this new addition. This new fluid of which I speak is, well…spittle. Let me be even more succinct, it is the drooling saliva from virtually every M.F. on planet Earth kissing his dirty, stinking, disgusting ass.

You may quote me.

At President Drumpf’s inauguration the heads of five of the top largest companies were in attendance; all of them tech companies. The world’s weirdest person and owner of Tesla and SpaceX, Elon Musk(rat) was present. Though not a surprising guest since he leads the new Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE. Musk, also owns the social media platform X, that was once known as Twitter.

Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg joined in Drumpf’s welcome to the White House. Sucker-berg (as I am wont to call him) also hosted the president alongside billionaire Republican donors at a black-tie reception before the inaugural balls on the evening of Inauguration Day. Not long ago Sucker-berg challenged and criticized the president on a myriad of issues with vim and vigor. Vim and vigor has turned to piss and vinegar as Zuckerberg has rapidly done a dramatic about-face to align himself with Drumpf.

Billionaire Jeff Bezos (aka Bozo) owns Amazon, the Washington Post and Blue Origin (an aerospace company) was also present at the inaugural ass-kissing and at Drumpf’s swearing-in ceremony. Bozo’s company has been part of the space race alongside Musk’s SpaceX, both of which have launched rockets into space. Think of it as Whitey on The Moon.

TikTok CEO Shou Zi Chew (not to be confused with Suzy Q) was also in attendance, with the inauguration occurring one day after the video-sharing platform went dark in the U.S. Oddly enough, the app was restored after President Donnie Drumpf delayed a ban on the social media platform. President Drumpf did this within hours of his inauguration via executive order. Or fiat.

Apple CEO Tim Cook was seen sitting among his fellow tech turds at Drumpf’s ceremony. Captain Crook personally donated $1 million to Drumpf’s inaugural committee. I can only muse upon what the United States looks like to the rest of the world (and it has never been stellar, so to speak).

I mean, you could always buy judges, cops and just-us if you had enough money and were on the lesser end of the melanin scale. You could always buy better medical treatment, better education, etc. But now, all of Amerika is being dismantled and the government is shamelessly for sale.

Two weeks ago, President Drumpf’s 27 year-old Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt conducted her first press briefing. It is difficult for me to refrain from ridiculing that young woman who prominently displays a crucifix around her neck. Perhaps she is afraid of vampires. Or is one.

At that White House press briefing, Sweet Karoline blatantly issued an ultimatum to the U.S. Senate pertinent to the nominees President Drumpf has selected for his lily-white Ku Klux Kabinet. At the end of the press conference she said: “This is why it is so incredibly important that the senate moves swiftly to confirm all of President Trump’s nominees…” Every single one of them has been confirmed thus far. Even the ones that are cause for serious concern that, a mere ten years ago, would not have stood a snowball’s chance in hell of confirmation. In an intriguing anecdote President Drumpf has a grandchild named “Carolina” and North Carolina was the first trip of his second term.

The so-called World Economic Forum (that excludes much of “the world”) was held in Davos a few weeks ago. The ring and ass kissing that President Drumpf received was vomitous, and I could have added that ingredient to his diaper had I been in the room and dared get close enough. It was so cowardly and ingratiating that I refuse to revisit the travesty. However, if you possess some masochistic penchant for torture video is widely available; all twelve ass-kissing hours of it.

Finally there are the Democrats. The mayor of the most populated city in the United States, Democrat Eric Adams, has suddenly done an about face and agreed to collaborate with the Trump administration's crackdown on immigrants living in the country. Just a few months ago, Adams deemed New York a “sanctuary city” (something I find ironic coming from a Black Man in the United States). I would be beyond negligent to not mention that Mr. Adams is facing several indictments from the Department of Justice…or was.

I have heard the collective plaintive wailing of the Democrats. Many of whom appear to be perplexed at what has been characterized as their brethren “bending over backwards” to appease President Drumpf. This characterization is a misnomer. From where I sit, the Democrats are not guilty of bending over backwards, they are guilty of quite the opposite. They are guilty of grabbing their proverbial ankles which necessitates a different set of anatomical mechanics.

That, mein Freund, is why Donnie Drumpf's diapers are dripping; and stinking up the place real good.